I'm going natural!

She talks like a "white girl"

This was a statement that I had never ever heard until I moved to Louisiana when I was 13. I didn’t understand what it meant. Seriously confused, I had to go home to ask my Mom and Dad to explain it to me. Most of all I didn’t understand why the way I spoke made people hate me and want to harm me. Apparently if you speak a certain way, it means that you think you are better than other people. As a quiet, nice, timid 13 year old, I didn’t understand why people would think this about me. And when I say people I mean black girls. When I moved to Louisiana I was excited to be in a school with so many people the same color as me. With my Dad being in the military, I grew up in majority white neighborhoods and schools. Well, I suffered through 8^th grade with girls literally hating me, calling me names, and threatening me. Girls I had never met in my life would corner me in the bathroom and threaten me. Crazy right? I guess word travels fast. If a few people think something about you, it doesn’t take long for everyone to believe the same thing. I think I make a great friend and there were many many many black girls over the years that I could have been friends with but unfortunately they never took the time out to get to know me. Yes, I obviously know that I don't talk like most think a black person “should” talk. I was raised around a lot of white people so that was the result. But why was it such a big deal? I’ve never in my life been snobby or mean to anyone. I would never talk about someone if they had a stutter or if they “looked poor” or if they were a different nationality. So it confused me tremendously why someone would talk about me just because I pronounced words a certain way. This lasted all the way through high school. Fortunately I made a great group of friends who got to know me and loved me. Because of them, it made all the talk behind my back harder to hear. Obviously this was years ago and it’s not a problem now but I can’t help but think about my sweet baby. It would be no surprise if she speaks like me. There are so many messed up things going on in schools these days. I can’t imagine how things will be when she is in school. Not only do I have to worry about things like a random kid bringing a gun to school, teen pregnancy and her first heartbreak; I also have to worry about my sweet girl coming home with a black eye because some girls didn’t like the way she pronounced words. It’s nonsense. I have never been in a fight in my life. I have never even raised my voice in an argument (besides the usual teenager/parent arguments). But when it comes to my family I am protective as a bear. If anyone does anything to harm my family members especially my child, I’ll be put in jail over the things I would do to that person. So as you can see my protective meter is off the charts. Obviously those girls in my past were simply trying to push their insecurities and low self esteem on me but how do you explain that to a little girl who is hurting because girls don’t like her for any logical reason. My words won’t mean a thing to her and my heart breaks just thinking about it. It’s up to the parents to teach their children not to hate someone over something so ridiculous as the way they talk. I just want to hold her in my arms and protect her forever. I love her so…..and I really really really don't want to go to jail.

25 random thangy thangs

1) I have no clue how to "do the stanky leg".

2) I would eat sushi everyday if I could.

3) I love Harry Potter more than Edward Cullen.

4) But truth be told I love Edward too. Embarrasing.......

5) My favorite vacation EVER was a Carnival cruise.

6) I dream about when I lived in Maryland all the time. Even though that was like 20 years ago, I still miss it.

7) At one point I was into collecting souvenir shot glasses. Of course I lost interest. Now I have a zillion chessy shot glasses and nothing to do with them.

8) I look like my mom when she was younger and I think that's cool.

9) We had a dog but I lost interest in him when he grew up. Bad Mommy :(

10) I love eating at "The Melting Pot". It's an incredibly expensive (but worth it) fondue restaurant.

11) I secretly want an iphone although I always make fun of them.

12) I hate germs.

13) When I was little I would pretend to still believe in Santa Claus (even when I didn't) so I could get more presents.

14) I lived in Germamy for a few years.

15) Facebook/Myspace friend requests make me giddy.

16) This was me

17) I don't know the second thing I would do if I had to ride in an airplane. The first thing would be pee my pants.

18) I'll be the big 3-0 in less than three years and I can't wait!

19) I can't stand alcohol. Just the smell of it makes me gag.

20) I lived in Kansas City, Missouri for a year after college.

21) Although I was either sick or on bedrest for the majority of my pregnancy, I look back at it

as a happy and exciting time.

22) I absolutely love those big tins of assorted popcorn that people get around Christmas time.

23) One day I will create vitamin cupcakes....vitamin brownies.....vitamin rootbeer......vitamin rice crispie treats....you get the picture.

24) I love rap.

25) There's this girl and she's stolen my heart.....she calls me mom.

I love my Teagan because she is the best.

So, T-baby is sleeping. She's my thumbsuckin' angel! It's cheesy but I love her more and more everyday. I get overwhelmed with emotion when I think of her. I take parenting SO seriously that it makes me freak out sometimes. In a world where girls are having babies left and right, I feel that the true job of parenting is being lost. These days it seems like having a baby is just something you do because the condom broke. Well, I've been planning my baby for years. No surprises here! Like I said, I take my responsibility as Teagan's mom pretty seriously. If we as parents don't raise her and teach her right, then who will? Some (but of course not all) of my early year goals as Teagan's mom are 1) read to her everyday 2) cuddle as much as possible 3)use big words so her vocabulary will be great 3) Try very hard to find alternate ways of saying "no" (because I very very very much dislike it when parents say "no" so much to their kids that the only word their kid likes to say is "no") 4) make my own baby food (minus nasty preservatives of store bought food) 5) breastfeed as long as possible 6) give her 1,000 kisses a day 7) Say "I Love You" a lot. The list goes on and on. I wish I had a couple of hours to write everything down. :)

Good-ness!

Between my laziness and my forgetting my blogspot password over and over again, I have obviously been neglecting my blogging! So let's get right into it. Starting tomorrow I am going to start working out. I swear! I dropped all of my pregnancy weight pretty quickly by just doing nothing but I still have some tummy chub. Although to be perfectly honest that chub was there even before I became pregnant. So in order to be smokin hhhhhhhot this summer in my two piece, I gotta get to doing my crunches! Here's to blogging more and watching VH1 reality shows less. Oh, who am I kidding? "For the Love of Ray J" and "I Love Money 2" are premiering tomorrow. I am a reality show junkie and I needs my fix!

Stuffed Bear Labor Laws

Write to your Congressman. This must stop TODAY!

Teagan Elizabeth

Almost 32 weeks into it and I still can’t believe I’m pregnant. I think it has a lot to do with the amazingness (yes, it’s a word) of the situation. Like my body actually knew what to do. It knew how to grow a heart, little feet, a little nose. My uterus is a freaking genius! I still can’t wrap my mind around what’s going on in there. I feel her moving all the time but it’s impossible to imagine that an almost 4 pound 17 inch human is doing it. I have two more months until my due date and I am so ready and so scared at the same time. I have never even changed a diaper before. Don’t tell Teagan though, I want her to think that mommy is perfect and knows everything.